Last year I met the love of my life. It was totally unexpected. I had decided that after my previous disastrous relationship it would be good to take some time to heal. Because of the nature of the break up I changed churches which had this not happened I would never have met my husband! In the past year we have had many happy times together! But what I would tell you is that there is a definite difference between happiness and joy.
Happiness came in the form of the happenings in my life. What I lacked was true joy. I never expected my husband to give me joy as I already knew that only came from Jesus Christ. However, even then I felt that I didn’t have that joy I was sure we were promised.
I think my anger towards God came in the form that things were definitely not ok and I had no joy or peace in any situation. I can tell you this is where I needed to battle with God. My inability to completely give over my burdens to Him was evident and Him not giving me the strength to bear them was a sore point. I realise I was approaching this from all the wrong angles. So in my ‘battle with God’ I wrote a letter of everything I was hurting about, things I didn’t understand, and fears I had about what it would mean. In each situation my level of control was zero! What I was forced to recognise was that I had to release my inability to do anything to the only person who did have ability. Since then I have been letting go of each burden I have been carrying. I still act on what I believe God calls me to say or do in each situation but I have let go of the outcomes.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
On top of letting go of things, there is also a part for us to play. Our thoughts need to be brought under control by thinking upon things that are true, honourable, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. Not only that but we are called to practice the things which we have learned, received, heard, and seen and the God of peace will be with us.
While I can’t control many situations, I can look for what I can do where I am with what I have.